How To Transform Your Difficult Romantic Relationship Into A Secure, Reliable, Dependable Healthy Relationship (Without years of costly therapy, mountains of self help books, or advice that makes things worse)

Every two people that want to be close have a problem right from the start. It's not taught anywhere what to do when conflict arises... conflict that lasts for an extended period of time. When this occurs, partners make up stories about the other, and then begin using those stories against each other. In this in depth look at how this wrecks our closest relationship, Derek Hart will walk us down the path of the most important thing to know to create repair in your relationships. You might say that this will be mostly an unlearning. 

You Will Be Found: Moving Toward A Deeper Connection

A Family Constellation Seminar

Disruption in the flow of love caused by traumas, abandonment, and loss ripples into the shadows of the family landscape, often emerging as illness, insecure attachments, emotional difficulties, and broken relationships.

Family Constellations is a unique, experiential approach to healing. A kind of "living map," it provides a creative and profound way of seeing into turbulence that shapes our lives and the suffering we experience. It has the potential to touch us on a deep energetic level, often leading to a transformation and a realization that we are no longer alone.

In the words of poet David Whyte, the process offers an invitation:

"Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the

conversation. The kettle is singing

even as it pours you a drink; the cooking pots

have left their arrogant aloofness and

seen the good in you at last. All the birds

and creatures of the world are unutterably

themselves. Everything is waiting for you."

"You will be found."

Benj Pasek/Justin Paul from "Dear Evan Hansen"

From Trauma to Triumph: Communicating For Quantum Connection (self-regulation)

Our limbic systems have mirror neurons. While these are the source of empathy, they are also the source of escalation. With practices of Conscious Communication and Quantum Connection, we can create and sustain healthy relationships.  

We will explore and practice:

• Engaging the ventral vagal nervous system of rest and repair
• How to disengage verbally while staying emotionally connected
• How to advocate for boundaries while staying present to love
• How to work with our trauma triggers in real time 

We all carry certain levels of personal, cultural, or epigenetic trauma. We will unpack what has become normalized trauma and how to rewire it through new practices in relating.

Who is Sleeping In Your Head? Exploring Inner Aspects of Empowerment (self-resourcing)

Each trigger is not only in the moment it carries the echoes of our past. It´s so intriguing. Whether triggered toward desire or demands, connection or contraction, there is an age, and a life stage that is responding.

What I am most fascinated by is how these Inner Aspects, once recognized and consciously collaborated with can create more intimacy, pleasure, and play. When they are unknown, suppressed rejected or avoided, they act out underground in destructive and often familiar patterns.

We will discover and explore:

• Uncovering our Inner Aspects
• Unveiling how they respond to others
• Communicating within to bring comfort, clarity or direction
• Expand our intimacy template

Beginner Regulation - Experiential Workshop (self-regulation)

A very gentle introduction to self-regulation and co-regulation. This class will teach you the basics of finding your own center and finding balance with what is available around you, whether it is the ground, nature, breath, or someone else.

Skills, Qualities, and Superpowers of Secure Attachment - Lecture + Q&A (self-resourcing)

As you explore your journey to Secure, what skills, qualities, and superpowers are you discovering in yourselve and others that you feel express best your inner security? In what ways do you now have more space, resilience, clarity, and insight in your life as you engage with others? What are the superpowers that you are developing as you move from your own particular attachment style into an earned secure attachment? (hint: many of these superpowers were born from your time as an insecure attacher) In this class, we will discover and explore one set of secure attachment qualities, and share with each other the unique ones we have developed on our own journey.

Attachment Theory: A new way of looking a Relationships & Intimacy - Lecture (self-resourcing)

Ever been in relationship and noticed how you or your partner seemed to be following a sort of unspoken emotional “script” or “dance” leading you two down a path where triggers, difficulties, arguments, challenges, insecurities, and limitations seemed to get the best of you? If you’ve been on this planet for long enough, you may have noticed that these patterns are more or less repeated for you and your partner. You’ve seen yourself enter these relationships again and again and again, always knowing that something is up but never quite knowing WHY.

Enters Attachment Theory, the remarkable view of relationships that seems to pretty much explain EVERYTHING about how people can be secure or insecure in relationship and how regardless of your attachment style you will likely be in relationship with people who are either. Knowing about attachment theory and recognizing and knowing how to work with people with various attachment styles is one of the single most useful skills you can have in life.

Beginning the Journey to Secure Attachment - Lecture + Q&A (self-resourcing)

It was perhaps just a few weeks or months since you discovered attachment theory. You learned about the two main types of insecure strategies --avoidance and anxiety-- and the patterns of behavior that express these insecurities through a relationship to needs that perhaps seem to come from a deep and young part of yourself.

This class is about beginning the journey to a more mature relationship to needs. A journey to self-care and to interdependence. A journey to a secure attachment style.

In this original class, you will learn...

★ To locate yourself more clearly on the map of attachment styles.

★ To recognize your insecure patterns more readily, and to share them without shame with the people you engage with.

★ How to plan your journey to a secure attachment style.

★ Somatic, emotional, physical, social, spiritual, and primal practices to develop in order to grow your emotional balance.

★ To answer the question "What do a secure person do?" with clarity when in a difficult situation.

★ To identify who are the secure people in your life and who are your anchors

★ Practices for the individual and for couples to anchor/stabilize each other, and the downsides/reduction of control/freedom of being in intimate relationships

Avoidant Clinic - A discussion for partners who have partners with an avoidant attachment style (self-resourcing)

Perhaps you're anxious or disorganized and trying to understand your avoidant partner(s), or perhaps you're avoidant and trying to communicate your reality to your partners. Either way, this class is for you!

In this class we will discuss:

★ What it's like to have an avoidant attachment style from a nervous system and emotional resources perspective

★ Your partner's avoidant coping mechanisms and how best engage with them so they happen less

★ Your own anxious coping mechanisms and how to support becoming more secure so you don't have to use them so much (and reduce your partner's coping mechanisms in the process)

★ The dynamics that create your anxiety and their avoidance (and identifying them better so you can learn to avoid them)

★ A Q&A from the "kingdom of avoidant attachment" (ie, I'm here to answer all your questions, small and big)

★ Practices to develop better regulation, self-care, and re-sourcing to improve your ability to be in the mystery your avoidant partner presents every day.

Bring your challenges and your questions!

Attachment meets contact (self-regulation / self-resourcing)

Come explore connection through contact as we ride the waves and stretch to touch the limits of contacting all parts of ourselves. What conditions challenge you to stay in contact with yourself? What dances would you rather do without the gaze of others? When and where do you hide? What happens when you make contact with another? What happens when you loose contact? We will explore this, and more, in a journey through sight, sound, and movement.

Systemic Constellations with Insecure Parts (self-resourcing)

This facilitated collective practice uses a “felt-sense” approach (relying heavily on somatic responses) to surface patterns of interaction and interdependent relationships within a particular system. Together, we will enter the systemic field of attachment wounding to create a dynamic model or map of this particular system in order to visualize the patterns of interaction and widen the shared understanding of attachment individually and collectively.

5Rhythms - Wave (self-care)

The 5Rhythms are flowing, staccato, chaos, lyrical and stillness. They come together to create the Wave, a movement meditation practice. There are no steps, just your own expression as choreography. Leaning into each of the rhythms as a teacher, not just in the dance, but in life. What do these rhythms have to teach us? You can expect to meet different and sometimes unknown aspects of yourself as your dance unfolds and your practice of the rhythms deepens over time. The 5Rhythms are states of Being. They are a map to everywhere we want to go, on all planes of consciousness – inner and outer, forward and back, physical, emotional and intellectual. They are markers on the way back to a real self, a vulnerable, wild passionate, instinctive self.

Am I Consenting? Trauma-informed relating from a consent perspective (self-resourcing)

The interplay and connection between consent, trauma, and attachment theory & how understanding them helps support our relationships 

This is a workshop that informs humans the overlap and inter-relationablity of trauma- informed care and consent culture. I’ll be covering concepts around basic trauma, how it works, how to actually relate being trauma-informed, poly-vagal theory, basic consent culture and consensual relating, my Consent and the 4 C’s, and how and why that enhances all of our relationships. We will also lightly brush how the drama triangle, attachment theory, and the concept of “domain” relate to trauma-informed relating. Come attend to learn more and have this empowered knowledge enhance your connection to and ability to care for self and other immediately!  

Healthy Relationship Essentials: 3 Relationship Breakthroughs to Ignite Your Empowered Love Life (self-resourcing) 

This is a workshop that covers the three pillars of healthy relationships! I’ll take you through a journey of my personal story and how and why these three breakthroughs enhance all your relationships while also adding a healthy dose of consent culture in the process! Come and attend to find out these relationship essentials so you can have this empowered knowledge for the rest of your life and attract and sustain the relationships that you deserve and that truly nourish you!

Attachment Monologues (self-resourcing)

A class on acting fundamentals and attachment theory basics, explored through a short story and two monologues. This class creates space for deep reflection and asking/answering questions within the safety net of fiction. Participants can choose their level of personal vulnerability and allow the stories of the characters to guide them into a journey of deeper empathy and well-rounded perspective of various attachment styles.

The Growth Cycle (self-resourcing)

An exploration of the cyclical/non linear process of growth through the stages of presence, play, practice, and progress. This structure applies to all kinds of growth, but we will use attachment theory as an example to demonstrate how the growth cycle might look in the process of developing relationship health. Participants will come away with deepened self-awareness, and practical ideas for what the next steps in their own growth journeys might look like.